Dizzy: Hu Jintao and Wen Jiabao as Regents? Hu Chunhua and Li Qiang Fight for General Secretary? Xi Jinping Worships Ghosts to Gather Qi, Douyin's Bare-Butt Clown Emperor Goes Viral! 40-Year Little Pink Turns Rebel! Clever Tricks Inside the Wall to Top Up GPT! (Old Beijing Teahouse / Episode 1759 / 2026 / 09/30)
The main contents of this episode include: Xi Jinping returning to Beijing after visiting the United States and presenting flower baskets to the people's heroes amidst strong winds of magnitude 7, sparking netizen parody and rumors of high-level infighting; overseas scholar Shen Tong revealing that a veteran Wall Street Chinese person experienced a huge disillusionment with China's current situation after returning to China for three months; at the same time, it discusses the phenomenon of mainland China's anti-telecom fraud efforts leading to widespread bank account freezes, as well as the various ways young people use Xianyu and various homophonic puns (such as Ultraman charging, chicken butt, Tibo washing powder, etc.) to top up ChatGPT and break through the AI blockade.
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It is said that the CCP leader Xi Jinping, who was drowned out by calls for his stepping down throughout his visit to the United States, in order to gather some energy—or rather, ghostly energy—for himself from the morgue of the preserved corpse in front of Tiananmen and the Monument to the People's Heroes, brought his team of Zhongnankeng dwarves along. Braving force 7 winds, they went around the monument to pay respects to the ghostly soldiers and worship the dead. Note that the formation specifically requested by Mao from an evil feng shui master back in the day, the so-called Monument to the People's Heroes, is actually a tombstone in front of Mao's morgue; his intentions were truly sinister. Former red princeling and political commentator Xiang Yang posted a video saying that after returning to Beijing from the U.S., Xi Jinping braved force 7 gusts to present a flower basket to the People's Heroes. His complexion was dark and he looked burdened with worry. After all, while the scenery remains the same year after year, the people change—and how they have changed. Last year, the high-ranking military generals attending the ceremony included Zhang Youxia, He Weidong, Liu Zhenli, and Zhang Shengmin; this year, only Zhang Shengmin remained. Because it looked so pathetic, Wang Xiaohong had to stand next to Zhang Shengmin wearing his police chief uniform and cap to make up the numbers. Since both were wearing large caps, they had to desperately shrink their necks and hunch their shoulders, hands pressed against their official hats to prevent them from being blown away by the strong wind. And that's not even mentioning Cai Qi, who is about the same as me—only a ring of white hair left covering his head like leaves. When the force 7 wind hit, it blew the leaves right off 'Bayonet Brother,' leaving only a wisp of old white hair fluttering in the wind. Netizens said that the face of the Steamed Bun Emperor (Xi) was clearly crooked to one side, with the left side pulled up and the right side pulled down. Doctors say this is a particularly ridiculous pathological phenomenon. The X account 'New Heights' was even worried for old Xi, asking if the force 7 winds in Beijing yesterday might trigger a relapse of his old condition, given that Xi is a stroke patient blowing in the wind. Xi Jinping, a stroke enthusiast, indicated that he couldn't care less; the 21st National Congress is just around the corner, and if he doesn't show off the pomp of his authoritarian rule, they really won't take the Liangjiahe village chief as their leader. It's frustrating. Netizens were completely confused seeing the Steamed Bun leading a bunch of underlings circling the tombstone, whispering desperately to each other. What were they looking for around the tombstone? Is there a crack in the monument that they could crawl into to achieve immortality? I've never heard of such a thing. If they really crawled in, that would truly be a national celebration. To achieve a national celebration, they first circle the tombstone twice to bolster the Steamed Bun's courage—what a pathetic display, there's no other way. According to netizens, he's struggling to move forward, and since the '150 small goals' are a bit difficult, he has to butter up the connections in the underworld first. It seems the underworld connections were buttered up quite successfully, as a force 7 ghostly wind kicked up. The imagery was too vivid—not only did it lift the hem of his suit, but the caps of the two old brothers, Wang Xiaohong and Zhang Shengmin, were almost blown away, and their official positions were at risk at any moment. The funniest part was Li Qiang being blown into a clumsy gait; netizens couldn't stop snickering, it was truly something else. This energy-gathering assembly of the Steamed Bun, full of sorrow and flying sand and stones, simply treated a farce as a solemn event—a kind of self-absorbed, narcissistic state of mind. Netizens felt a sense of resonance after watching it, saying that ever since the Steamed Bun got mentally ill, he has become much more 'spirited,' looking particularly self-absorbed and narcissistic, exactly like that guy with glasses dancing in the square in the middle of the night. You haven't seen the guy with glasses dancing in the middle of the night? Look here. Vomit. Accompanied by midnight singing, he dances a clumsy dance. I don't know what this guy's background is, but he looks like an intellectual from the Cultural Revolution era who was driven mad. There are vengeful spirits—don't scare me. Then again, your video of midnight singing and the video posted by someone inside the Great Firewall of Xi Jinping dancing in the square on a rooftop at midnight are truly hard to distinguish in terms of being self-absorbed and narcissistic; they resonate. The Steamed Bun dancing on the roof in the middle of the night—what's the situation? The situation is 'high-level black' (sarcastic mockery). Look here, ah-poo. Who made this? It's too hilarious; it provided me with at least three days of joy. So, a good laugh keeps you young.
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Alright, picking up where we left off, Liu Zhuo is happy now, and the netizen who posted this video on a domestic platform has also received a notification from Beijing to go collect an award. Oh wait, no, the Cyberspace Administration of China (CAC) police want to invite the netizen for tea—who told you to force the General Secretary to dance like a shaman in the middle of the night without his consent? Exactly, if he gets too excited and starts floating, then stands on the roof and jumps off, that would be the end of Professor Peng. No, to prevent the Steamed Bun (Xi Jinping) from becoming a flying man, the Great Firewall on the roof must be raised. Sorry, the Great Firewall is no longer needed; the crazy 'storming the tower' (challenging the authorities) on Douyin inside the wall is continuing. Some netizens have already publicly released AI works of 'The Emperor's New Clothes,' mocking Xi Jinping for pulling a millstone while naked and spinning around in embarrassment. The warriors inside the wall have broken through the Steamed Bun's red line like this. Although the comment section was cleared, look here, my god, this is public humiliation—a naked clown wants to be the Emperor. The clown Emperor says, 'Anyway, I cleared the comment section for you; just likes, no comments, a win-win.' Tea friends, let's have an emergency poll: Why do you think the CAC doesn't care about the 'Emperor's New Clothes' anti-Xi videos on Douyin? Here are the options: 1. There are rebels inside the CAC intentionally letting them through; 2. They did care, but only about the comment section; 3. Even the CAC is full of resentment toward the Steamed Bun, so they are turning a blind eye; 4. There are too many people storming the tower to manage. Hurry up and type your numbers in the comments. As you have all seen, at this sensitive moment when Pan Shiyi's 58-second video leaked and Ren Zhiqiang's open letter called Xi Jinping a naked clown who wants to be Emperor, netizens publicly posted AI videos of 'The Emperor's New Clothes' inside the wall. Do you feel a sense of internal and external coordination, a mutual echo? The 'Wheat Carrier' (Xi Jinping) says mocking him is okay, but watch the frequency. They can't watch it anymore; netizens have spoken the truth. It can't be controlled anymore because there are so many people reporting news on X. Douyin deletes it, it continues to spread outside the wall, so many people circumvent the Great Firewall, and then it spreads back inside the wall for a second fermentation. It would have been better not to delete it; it saves the trouble of secondary fermentation. Sorry, it has already fermented, so the CAC was called out. If they dare not delete it, they will be treated as rebels, so this video should be unsearchable on the mainland Douyin platform. The General Secretary says, 'Cai Qi, hurry up and raise the Great Firewall! Someone wants to maliciously circumvent the wall to have some fun.' Circumventing the wall is not just about watching funny videos; there is another important item: watching the high-level infighting of Xi Jinping, seeing what kind of rumors the anti-Xi forces are spreading. You say it's impossible to guard against? The battlefield of infighting has already moved outside the wall—exporting to the domestic market—it really affects the 'four self-confidences' of the Little Pinks. Want excitement? The excitement has truly arrived. On September 29, the self-media account [Ordinary People Inside the Wall] rumored that Hu Jintao demanded Hu Chunhua take power, and he wouldn't care about what happens afterward. My Brother Tao has made a demand! Wen Jiabao demanded the initiation of political system reform and the continued promotion of reform and opening up. What is going on? Hu Chunhua demanded—everyone is making demands—Hu Chunhua demanded the liquidation of the Xi Jinping faction and the immediate initiation of political system reform. Are you dreaming? The CCP conservatives are now standing between the Xi Jinping faction and the reformists, playing both sides, in the most advantageous position; they even invented a 'carefree faction.' Hu Jintao holds the CCP's military power, so there will inevitably be a fierce struggle at the CCP's Fifth Plenary Session. Who will win the deer (power) among the various CCP factions remains unknown. There will definitely be a fierce struggle, but as for Brother Tao holding military power, you'd better wash up and go to sleep. The leak also said that as a real estate businessman, Pan Shiyi had the courage to come out and overturn the case for Ren Zhiqiang, so as the next-generation leader of the CCP, well, if Hu Chunhua doesn't seek justice for Li Keqiang and initiate political system reform, then his taking power has no meaning. This is getting more and more outrageous—who said Hu Chunhua is the next-generation leader? I don't know. Another commentator who likes to leak information, Yin Ke (Jiang Wangzheng), has a different view. He says, 'Stop, it has nothing to do with Hu Chunhua; the successor should be Li Qiang.' Pressing down the gourd (Hu Chunhua) and the ladle (Li Qiang) rises; it's a total mess. Yin Ke leaked that at the CCP's Fifth Plenary Session in October, Chen Xiaojiang, Zhang Shengmin, and Zhao Yide will be added as members of the Politburo. Zhao Yide will serve as the Director of the General Office of the CCP Central Committee. Zhao Yide is the current Party Secretary of Shaanxi Province; not only is he seen as a member of Xi Jinping's 'Zhejiang Army' along with Premier Li Qiang, but there is also a clear intersection in their official careers. Oh, so Zhao Yide is connected to Li Qiang and is going to enter the Politburo? Is that what it means? Yin Ke said that Zhao Yide was appreciated by Xi Jinping, who once governed Zhejiang, but Zhao Yide's relationship with Li Qiang should be closer. Zhao Yide's promotion might also have Li Qiang's recommendation behind it. Now the guessing game begins. Now that it is rumored that Zhao Yide will enter the Politburo and serve as the Director of the General Office, was this also pointed out by Li Qiang and approved by Xi? Does it mean that Li Qiang will replace Xi as General Secretary at the Fifth Plenary Session? After talking for so long, it's all just following the clues and guessing. Yin Ke also said that, in fact, with the change in the situation and the weakening of Xi's control over power due to health reasons, among the high-ranking officials who have been immersed in the CCP's officialdom for many years, for their own interests, how many are truly loyal to Xi? Cai Qi is not, Wang Xiaohong is not, and Li Qiang is not. And Zhao Yide, who once downplayed Xi, was not only not punished but further promoted. What does this indicate? Does it further prove that Xi's status as the 'one-man supremacy' no longer exists? The General Secretary says, 'I even dared to brave a force 7 gale to go around the tombstone. You say I no longer exist? Whether I exist or not, let us wait and see.'
As they say, all kinds of abnormal and chaotic phenomena abound in the Rakshasa Marketplace of the CCP's China. People trapped inside have grown accustomed, numb, and unfazed; but the moment someone from a normal society enters, the awkwardness, confusion, and mixed feelings all flood in. It is not that I fail to understand, but this party-state is utterly bizarre, because human senses automatically compile a retrospective collection—without comparison, there is no suffering. US-based writer and investor Shen Tong posted on the X platform on the 26th, recounting the transformation of a friend of his. Yes, Shen Tong said this friend is a figure in the Irvine Chinese community known as the big brother, a high-achieving individual who graduated from Nanjing University, has been in the United States for 40 years, ran away early enough, and achieved success on Wall Street, breaking into the mainstream. But wait! In recent years, when Shen Tong told this older brother how bad things were inside China and how miserable the situation of the Chinese people was, he expressed complete disbelief. Why? Because he believed that the views of anti-communist figures like me were too extreme; no matter what, the CCP's GDP is still the shiny second in the world. This brother was fooled by the numbers and desperately needed to experience the taste of the iron fist. The opportunity actually came: he was going to return to China, and he did. Not long ago, this older brother really returned to China and even lived there for three months to experience it properly. As a result, after experiencing it, his views and attitude underwent a 180-degree complete reversal. Now, this brother's evaluation of the CCP's China is as follows—everyone protect your little hearts—the brother bluntly stated that the degree of freedom Chinese people currently live with is not even as good as the 1980s, regressing by 40 years. The quality of food is even worse than back then, and most crucially, everyone is terrified. The state of young people reminds people of the stupidity of the Red Guards during the Cultural Revolution, and as for the grassroots economy, let's not even talk about it—it is an absolute mess. Oh my god, in the words of this older brother, the CCP's China commanded by the steamed bun is an all-around regression and utterly worthless. Shen Tong couldn't help himself, saying that after just going back to live for three months, this big brother of his instantly turned into the number one rebel, totally deflated. You tell me, does the governing capability of the bandit regime hand knives to Chinese people all over the world or not? Just listening to the overseas propaganda hype and United Front work can sustain things for a little while, but if you actually let people experience it on the ground, everyone scatters and disappears without a trace; if you run too slowly, you really get scammed. After Shen Tong's post was published, the comment section was extremely lively, sparking resonance. A netizen said that the basic logic of governance between the CCP and the US government is simply not on the same channel and completely incomparable, which is truly the case. The latter part of the netizen's words was particularly piercing: China is a livestock society, otherwise why would the vast number of Chinese wage laborers call themselves cattle and horses? It is actually a clear-headed positioning. Although the US also has its own problems, at least it is still a human society. I was actually left speechless. Chinese people self-identify as cattle and horses, but even in the world of cattle and horses there is a bottom line; this CCP jungle does not even respect the bottom line of livestock.
A post circulating on the internet over the last two days, dated September 25, goes like this: I just went to Hong Kong to buy an Apple phone, and all my bank accounts were frozen. Why on earth? They said they were afraid I would be defrauded. Today's anti-fraud measures are so effective! Is this called anti-fraud, or is it called taking advantage of a fire to loot? The text message from China Merchants Bank posted by the party involved reads as follows: The bank received instructions from the public security bureau. To protect the safety of account funds, temporary protective measures have been taken against the account ending in 0057, suspending counter and non-counter business processing. For details, please consult the account-opening branch. Suspending counter business processing, what does that mean? Don't ask about the meaning first, look at what another text message says: The relevant measures were adopted in accordance with the Anti-Telecom Network Fraud Law, though it didn't specify which transaction triggered the early warning—it couldn't be clearly written, and I strongly suspect there was no such transaction at all. A netizen in the comment section hit the nail on the head: your money is not your money. Your experience fully proves this sentence—your money is not your money. This realization is so painful! Painful! Look over here, oh my god, is this still a human society? When you go to the bank to withdraw money you deposited, the bank calls the police because your money is not your money. Physical banks acting unreasonably under liquidity pressure only make people angry; under the guise of anti-fraud, they directly freeze bank accounts, leaving people utterly helpless with no idea who to turn to. The netizen mentioned earlier who bought an Apple phone in Hong Kong and had their bank account frozen sparked a lot of discussion from people suffering long-term fatigue from anti-fraud apps, because many netizens have had similar experiences of having their bank accounts frozen—everybody is doing it this way, at least it is not just one or two. Netizens threw out these words: freezing an account takes a second, unfreezing it is like going through a crematorium. Unfreezing a bank account is about the same as dying once; you have to submit a huge pile of materials including social security proofs, and you even have to complain to regulatory authorities to enter the unfreezing process. You tell me how annoying that is! As for the trouble caused to oneself during the freezing period, being unable to live normally or even guarantee three meals a day, the anti-fraud department states that is none of their business—utterly devoid of conscience. Didn't netizens summarize it? Instead of being cheated out of food by scammers, you are starved by anti-fraud freezes. The anti-fraud crew are even more treacherous than scammers! Khanna! These scoundrels are just too ruthless.
The Epoch Times interviewed a Mr. Zhou who works in Apple phone repair. He said that the Chinese version of the iPhone is commonly known as the 'castrated version.' FaceTime Audio group calls are disabled in the CCP's China, and the full-featured Apple AI with ChatGPT capabilities is also unavailable—nothing works. Furthermore, iCloud in the mainland is operated by 'Cloud on Guizhou,' and many people worry about their phone data leaking, so they go to Hong Kong to buy Apple phones. The mystery is solved: it's not that they are afraid of you being scammed by fraudsters, but that they are afraid of you using a full-featured phone to discover the truth blocked by the CCP's Great Firewall. This truth is that the CCP is the greatest fraudster in history. Do you get it? The world is vast and full of all kinds of minds, and even within the CCP's China, there are many who are not easily fooled. The 'Party Mother' indicates that there are always some 'cattle and horses' (slaves) who do not want to become the kind of foolish young people during the Cultural Revolution that the guy in Irvine mentioned. Oh no, someone wants to circumvent the Great Firewall—they really have that idea. These young people are dissatisfied with the castrated domestic AI and the highly 'Party-spirited' Doubao, and they are obsessed with using ChatGPT to achieve AI equality. The Party says no. Consequently, these young people have begun a persistent, arduous, and joyful journey of outsmarting the internet police, bypassing the blockade with hilarious puns. 'Digital Life Kazike' is a well-known Chinese AI influencer, a top-tier blogger, and the founder of Xushi Media, famous for his hardcore, practical AI application sharing and open-source tools. He is a big name in AI self-media. Recently, I saw an article of his stating that the war between Xianyu (a second-hand marketplace) and GPT proxy recharge merchants has evolved to a level he can't even understand. What does that mean? People behind the wall know that it is quite troublesome to recharge a GPT account in China. Sometimes you have to use special methods or go to certain special platforms to find proxy recharges, such as Xianyu. Yes, but if you search for 'GPT' directly on Xianyu, you definitely won't find it—you must not be able to find it. The Party says this is a violation and malicious search because you are maliciously trying to see the truth. The problem is that there is demand and a market for the business of proxy recharging GPT accounts, so what can be done? Well, there is always a way. You can search for another keyword called 'Ultraman Charging.' At this moment, Ultraman and Sam Altman, the CEO of OpenAI and father of ChatGPT, have completed a closed loop of their destiny. The closed loop came a bit suddenly. Then you proceed to a private WeChat chat, and you can find out that this shop even has after-sales service; they are quite professional. If it doesn't work for a month, they can even refund you by the day. The service is thorough, and the price follows the exchange rate, costing about 140 yuan a month, which is not bad. Just as Digital Life Kazike got familiar with 'Ultraman Charging,' the internet police's interception caused the 'charging Ultraman' to suffer heavy casualties. Ah, they blocked it so fast! As the saying goes, 'as the devil grows one foot, the priest grows ten.' An even more outrageous pun, 'Power Bank,' has arrived. The most unbearable one is 'Ji Pi Ti' (kicking a chicken's butt), understood? Some people are even better at 'covering' ChatGPT with leaves, giving it a relative named 'DeepSeek Ancestor.' Hey, once you mention 'ancestor,' everyone knows who it is. There are also those who use people's names directly, such as 'Tibo.' This person is the core product and platform lead at OpenAI and one of the founding engineers of the AI programming tool Codex; he is also apparently called 'Cyber Godfather.' Yes, but 'Tibo' was too obvious and was killed off very quickly—it was killed before any moves were made. So, the version was urgently switched, and the style changed into all kinds of unexpected small commodities, such as 'Tipo biscuits,' claimed to be snacks that AI can eat. It's frustrating; the imagination is forced to this point. Even more outrageous is 'Tibo laundry detergent.' Besides GPT, other companies have similar code names, such as 'Hajimi' for Gemini, and 'Little Ke' or 'cc' for Claude. It's quite intimate. Anyway, if the old secret code doesn't work, someone will invent a new one. It is truly 'wildfires cannot burn it out, the spring breeze blows it back to life.' Although these Xianyu sellers have to go to great lengths just to earn a meager living, enough for a takeout meal, you have to admire their ability to create new words—I am truly impressed. Besides, even if puns like 'Ultraman Charging,' 'Tibo laundry detergent,' and 'Ji Pi Ti' are a bit magical and absurd, don't you think the determination of the Chinese people to break through the information blockade shows that victory is beckoning to us and the dawn is ahead? When breaking the net becomes a conscious act for everyone. A reminder to everyone: The GinEx Black Paste Mid-Autumn Festival event will also end in just a few hours. Ginex Black Paste has a limited annual production, and it often sells out before the end of the year, so there are almost no promotions usually. This limited-time Mid-Autumn discount is truly rare. Enter the discount code [chaguan] to get a 15% discount directly. If you spend over $350 after the discount, you can save another $20. While it's in stock and the event is on, please don't miss the last few hours. Alright, the results of the previous poll have been posted on the community bulletin board. You are welcome to check them out. New tea friends, don't forget to click subscribe and the little bell. You are also welcome to click on the Korean Jeju Island Red Sea Cucumber Health Jelly and the GinEx Black Paste Mid-Autumn event recommended by the brothers. There are links in the text bar below the topic and in the pinned comment. Let's go! Multiple updates every week, see you at the spicy news roundup. Goodbye.