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Xi Jinping's National Day Reception Scare: Is Someone Showing Their True Colors? US Report: Xi Living to 150 via Organ Transplants Is Impossible! Hu Xijin's AI-Generated Loyalty Post Backfires Spectacularly; Are Workers Now Eating 'Human Feed'? The CCP Tries to Trick the Poor into Buying Homes! (Old Beijing Teahouse / Episode 1760 / 2026/10/01)

1# · OP Author：老北京茶館 - 幽默時政 Published：2026-10-02 01:30 Replies：0 Views：284 Permalink：fanzei.net/d_7uq6sp

This episode reviews various trending topics and absurd phenomena during the October 1 National Day of Mourning: Hu Xijin used AI to write a patriotic essay, triggering widespread mockery and deleting comments overnight; the Beijing National Day reception was dense with men in black, creating a weird and tense atmosphere; the latest scientific research from MIT refuted the rumor about organ transplants enabling people to live to 150; meanwhile, against the backdrop of depressed median household savings in China, the central bank launched a first-home mortgage interest subsidy policy, and the social phenomenon of workers popularizing cheap handmade "human feed" was discussed.

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Speaking of the approaching National Day of Mourning on October 1st, the Chinese Communist Party has come out with another collective round of bizarre spectacles. Pay attention here, folks: the first major blunder was triggered by Hu Xijin. On October 1st, the regime's loyal mouthpiece Hu Xijin affectionately published a National Day essay praising the great achievements of the Party-state. Right before the ending, things took a high-energy turn, featuring a figurative, multicolored rotten egg of an AI prompt slip-up. The ending stated that he hoped decades from now, today's young people would stand on this pedestrian overpass and utter even more brilliant reflections than Old Hu. What kind of reflections? Do I need to read the whole thing for you and double-check it for zero omissions to ensure it completely matches your dictated original text? Poof, Doubao was talking to Old Hu! Old Hu, can you please not fool the great motherland like this? As a result, the comment section was completely turned into an ocean of joy by Old Hu's blunder. The most loyal bootlicker turned out to be a fraud, using Doubao to fool Xi the Steamed Bun. Netizens joined in the commet section to stir up the commotion, startling Old Hu awake. Having let AI write it with his eyes closed, Old Hu hurriedly and manually deleted the last sentence. Then, breaking his previous promise of "I don't delete comments," he frantically deleted the comments that exposed his political loyalty until his wrists went numb, completely winning big. Even writer Cui Chenghao couldn't watch anymore. Hu Xijin published an article loudly praising the motherland, only to be caught: it wasn't his own love, it was Doubao's love. Not kneeling while writing a tribute is one thing, but daring to use AI to fool the Party? Old Hu, where is there even half a place for the motherland in your eyes? This is a serious matter. He couldn't even be bothered to read through the AI-generated text once. Old Hu looked aggrieved; the AI-written text tasted too much of recycled plastic, it choked the throat. He wanted to look at it, but couldn't even keep his eyes open—the artificial sweetener exceeded the limit, and even he couldn't stand it. The problem is, he even trained the machine to carry water; isn't that utterly devoid of conscience? Old Hu chuckled to himself, indicating: wasn't this to help cooperate with the General Secretary's small goal of living to 150, by cultivating the next generation of water-carriers? After Old Hu kicks the bucket, AI Old Hu can continue carrying water for cyber immortality, and Old Hu will be gloriously unemployed ahead of schedule. No choice, age spares no one; with loose teeth, he just can't hold onto the plate anymore, so he might as well hand the exercise opportunity over to Doubao AI. This sand mixed into the rice completely deviates from the Party's dogma that not being absolute in "patriotism" means not being patriotic at all. Netizens were speechless, pulling out one of Old Hu's Weibo posts from September 1st: I firmly oppose AI replacing human performance; AI must serve humanity, doing jobs that humans cannot do, find very difficult to do, or are unwilling to do. Thank you—cannot do, very difficult to do, unwilling to do. The moment the four words "unwilling to do" were thrown out, Little Pinks' sirens went off all over their bodies. Someone come quick, Old Hu said it himself: praising the great motherland is a job Old Hu is unwilling to do! Can someone help us explain, is Old Hu trying to purposely tick Xi the Steamed Bun to death? Old Hu smiled mischievously and whispered, not tick to death, but tick to insanity. Ah, well, a good laugh keeps you young for a decade. New tea friends, quickly click and ring the little bell, welcome to join the teahouse's joyful journey, change perspectives with the brothers to see the world, and make your mood better. Note that subscription is free; pressing the subscribe button will bring you a steady stream of laughter.

To pick up where we left off, now that even the benchmark of spin-doctoring, Hu Xijin, has betrayed the CCP's spin-doctoring cause, a realistic problem has historically been placed before CCP leader Xi Jinping. People's hearts are unpredictable; is there anyone left to trust? His wife, Peng Liyuan, indicated: No, no, no, motion passed. Recently, Xi's paranoia has worsened. On the evening of September 30, the CCP's large-scale reception for the 77th anniversary of its usurpation of power, the so-called "National Day" reception, was held at the Great Hall of the People in Beijing. Xi Jinping led the top CCP leadership to appear collectively, rewarding the underlings of all levels and systems for surviving another year. As a result, once the footage from the CCTV news broadcast came out, things got awkward again. Awkwardness happens every year, but this year it was a real mess. One could see rows of white-clothed round tables spread out, with various expressionless party officials from within the system sitting at each, looking suspicious and cautious, waiting for the "Steamed Bun" (Xi Jinping) on the podium to flip through his little notebook. Why were they still looking so suspicious and cautious? Not only suspicious and cautious, but many were also tense, with cold sweat pouring down—it was a Hongmen Banquet! What is wrong with these diners, being scared like this? You weren't there; there were crew-cut men in black everywhere. It became clear: seeing these men in black, these diners were all reminded of the terrifying scene where Hu Jintao was escorted out. At every table suspected of potential whispering or exchanging secret signals, tall, burly, cold-faced men with crew cuts were stationed. You tell me if that's scary or not. The main point was to intimidate you without room for negotiation. Unlike ordinary guests who would focus on the podium, these people didn't look—they didn't look at the podium at all. Not only did they not look at the podium, but they faced the guest area, monitoring every expression, every move, and every word of the officials present; if something went wrong, they would just grab them and drag them away. Are you trying to snatch a bride? Well, it was somewhat like that. I'm telling you, these men in black—black suits, black ties, crew cuts, fixed sitting postures—if it weren't for their eyes occasionally moving and their nostrils breathing heavily, they would be just like AI robots. Listen to this: they were there to keep a close watch on anyone in the venue who wanted to stage a coup, rebel, whisper, or express dissatisfaction. You tell me, just how scared is the "Steamed Bun"? You're just standing there talking without feeling the pain; the well-fed don't know the hunger of the starving. Xi is thinking: even with such intimidation, there are still rebels everywhere, "carrying bows and hiding golden swords." Whenever he sees a crowd, he thinks of the "warriors entering the imperial palace through the back door." There's no help for it; even the General Secretary has to admit that the situation of the struggle against the enemy within the party is extremely treacherous. Do you know who has become an undercover agent for the US CIA? I really can't guard against it. The CIA has already released several versions of recruitment advertisements for defectors. The General Secretary has seen them all. And that's not to mention how many good party cadres are secretly reading various overseas reactionary books and materials, or browsing the "Old Beijing Teahouse" jokes by circumventing the Great Firewall whenever they have time. No smuggling of private goods allowed, don't try to take advantage of the chaos! Anyway, at the entire National Day reception, apart from the "Steamed Bun" reading his little notebook, the second most eye-catching things were these men in black. The atmosphere was eerie and terrifying. According to insiders, these thugs are all from the Central Security Bureau, specifically responsible for the safety of the CCP's top leadership. Their task is not to maintain general order at the venue, but to monitor every official present at the reception. The timid ones didn't even dare to smack their lips while eating, fearing that a crew-cut man would pin them to the ground and accuse them of sending secret codes to the US or Taiwan—sending them with their lips. You tell me, how is one supposed to swallow this meal? It was all forced down, with no idea what it tasted like; it was even less relaxed than a holiday in prison. There's no way to be relaxed; who knows if, after this meal, the next one will be eaten in Qincheng Prison? It's completely impossible to guard against. Especially after Xi received intelligence just sent by his spies. What intelligence? This intelligence is enough to give the General Secretary a headache. It was sent by spies from the top US institution, MIT. Listen to this: YES IT IS! MIT Technology Review is re-examining an epic conversation. Which one? The one that leaked during the September 3, 2025, CCP military parade, when Xi Jinping was walking up to the Tiananmen Rostrum with Putin and Kim Jong Un. "In the past, few people could live to be 70, BUT, now 70 is still a child." Disgusting. Someone predicted that in this century, one might live to be 150. Cover it up quickly; the shame has reached the ends of the earth. Using the "organs" of the "last generation" of cattle and horses to play at immortality—aren't you afraid of being struck by lightning? The problem isn't who gets struck; pay attention: the MIT scientific team has already reached a scientific conclusion on this statement by the "Steamed Bun." What conclusion? The latest research points out that this idea of "organ harvesting" to achieve rejuvenation is scientifically untenable. Ah, the latest research from the team of scientists at Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston, led by Jessica Hamzelou, shows that the research team conducted a series of heart transplant experiments on mice, testing the implantation of young hearts into middle-aged mice and old hearts into young mice. Using three aging clocks to track, they found that the transplanted hearts would rapidly exhibit the biological age of the recipient after four to six months.

What does this mean? It means that a young heart will accelerate its aging and become an old heart when placed inside an elderly recipient, whereas an old heart will actually become younger when placed inside a young recipient. Ah, and more importantly, regardless of whether the transplanted heart came from a young or old donor, the recipient's original blood and other organs showed absolutely no positive changes. Ah, it was all for nothing! Doesn't this spell the end of Xi the Steamed Bun's 150-year 'China Dream'? So, it is said that not only did Xi the Steamed Bun have a breakdown, but the top-level senior cadres who saw the bulletin all had a breakdown too. Why? Because according to this study, elderly organs have become valuable; their organs will likely soon be targeted by the black market and sold to wealthy families whose children need organ transplants. Suddenly, Xi the Steamed Bun's famous quote rings in my ears: 'Don't look at how boisterous you are today; be careful, for you will have to settle the bill in the future.' Let's quickly revisit that and conduct an urgent poll: what exactly do you think Xi Jinping was afraid of by arranging for the entire banquet hall to be filled with men in black during the National Day banquet? Here are the options: 1. Afraid of the old leaders colluding; 2. Afraid of rebels exchanging secret signals; 3. Afraid of rebels flipping the tables on the spot; 4. Don't know what he's afraid of, he's just afraid! Quickly type the number in the comments section.

Recently, two pieces of news came out almost simultaneously, leaving people utterly speechless. What on earth triggered this? First, half of the households in China have less than 90,000 in savings. Note that this is savings, not net wealth. What is net wealth? No idea. It is highly likely that these households are also carrying at least hundreds of thousands in mortgages. Ah, even without a loan, a minor illness of a family member could wipe out their savings overnight. Don't scare us! As if that weren't enough, they then have to go into debt for medical treatment—total collapse. The other piece of news is that, to trick ordinary people into buying cars and homes, the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) has pulled out a massive trick yet again. Buying cars and homes again? They introduced a mortgage interest subsidy policy for first-time home buyers, hailed as an epic market rescue. An epic harvesting of leeks, you mean? Wait a minute, why put these two increasingly heartbreaking pieces of news together? If you don't put them together, the beast-of-burden leeks really can't see the bottom line! What bottom line? This central government fiscal subsidy policy targets the grassroots beasts of burden, using a down payment on a house to completely drain the savings of grassroots beast-of-burden families. Oh my god, and this is just the first step; the next step is to carry hundreds of thousands or millions in mortgages, pulling the millstone without changing shoulders. Hey, can I just lie down and flat? Lying flat doesn't make you a good beast of burden; good beasts of burden must pull the millstone for the Party for the rest of their lives—get lost, it's your duty! Alright, let's stop criticizing and see what the news has to say. The Ministry of Finance, the People's Bank of China, and the National Financial Regulatory Administration of the CCP jointly issued a notice announcing that starting from October 1, financial subsidy policies will be granted to those who meet the conditions, with the implementation period tentatively set for one year. This is the first time the central bank has opened welfare for the beasts of burden—a heavenly-pit-level welfare. Note that the focus of this interest subsidy policy is very clear: the subsidized targets are limited to newly purchased small-to-medium-sized, low-priced housing with a floor area of no more than 120 square meters and a price of no more than 1.5 million yuan, specifically harvesting the fine leeks. According to the policy, for eligible personal housing loans, the interest subsidy ratio is 1 percentage point annualized, the maximum loan principal eligible for single-household interest subsidy can reach 1 million yuan, and the maximum interest subsidy period is 5 years. Didn't understand? Simply put, if the homebuyer meets all the conditions, over the course of 5 years, the maximum they can save is less than 50,000 yuan in interest—about 40,000-plus yuan in interest—while the Party Mother directly strips away all the principal in your pocket. The Party Mother says, why put it so harshly? We are serving the beasts of burden wholeheartedly, precisely benefiting the target group as much as possible, helping families with lower incomes who are preparing to buy ordinary housing to lower their monthly payments, practically helping new citizens such as rural migrant workers in cities, newly employed college students and other young people, as well as urban wage-earning families—these rigid-demand home-buying families lowering their housing purchase costs and reducing their burden, and yada yada yada. I'm about to throw up too. Are they bullying us grassroots beasts of burden for not knowing how to count? The bandit regime's land finance blew housing prices up like a balloon, and even after price cuts, they are still too expensive; yet just by waiving a bit of interest, they want to trap the lowest-level leeks. Have you no shame or morality? Pulling off the lid comes a bit fast. From 2000 to the peak of real estate in 2021, the CCP's land conveyance revenue skyrocketed from less than 60 billion yuan to 8.7 trillion yuan, a 145-fold increase in 20 years, 145 times! Now look at the disposable income of the beasts of burden over the same period: per capita income in 2000 was 6,280 yuan, while in 2021 it was 35,000 yuan, an increase of only about 5.6 times. 145 versus 5.6—let me ask you, whose pockets did the inflated money go into? The Party says, whose pockets it goes into doesn't matter; the key is that the policy of saving over 40,000 in interest is brilliant, the first-ever central interest subsidy in history is a major positive, and the epic market rescue is shameless. To sum it up, this policy uses a tiny petty gain of tens of thousands to lure the so-called rigid-demand beasts of burden in tier-3 and tier-4 cities into the market to take over the bags, sign the contract, and go pull the millstone! You can pull off the lid, but watch out for the heat—they're about to fly into a rage. How can they not be furious? They're almost driven to heart failure by anxiety. The internal circulation directed by Emperor Xi is completely locked down, and they are just waiting for the beasts of burden to enter the market to help the Party clear out a large inventory of ghost-town real estate in tier-3 and tier-4 cities. Meat on a mosquito's leg is still meat! A price cap of 1.5 million yuan is too far from the housing prices in tier-1 and tier-2 cities; beasts of burden in Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou, and Shenzhen can just wash up and go to sleep. Sorry, no matter what tier city, all the beasts of burden went to wash up and sleep. Why? Because although the CCP went all out with propaganda, the beasts of burden in tier-3 and tier-4 cities didn't seem to fall for it this time. Ah, they learned their lesson. Anyway, voices refusing to buy made up the majority. Some even said that not being able to afford a house can't possibly be because of a shortage of this tens of thousands in interest; it's the down payment and monthly repayments that are lacking—why doesn't the Party just waive all of it? Others predicted that saving a bit on monthly payments for a year will only result in housing prices dropping by 50,000 or 100,000 next year. Isn't this like giving you a 50-yuan coupon and urging you to buy 100,000 yuan worth of health supplements? It's so frustrating; people learn from past mistakes, and somehow they've grown a bit wiser.还有网友经典质问，月供也就少个千八百，可成功背上了100万的债务，谁能保证我们不失业，不生病，不降薪，我到底是帮你上车，还是让你上套？党妈表示，双上双赢，谁不赢，统计局也得赢！为什么？

Recently, official data from the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) caught everyone's attention, claiming that as of the end of July this year, the per capita household deposits in the mainland reached 123,000 RMB, with the average savings of a three-person family exceeding 360,000 RMB. Wait a minute, half of the families average only 90,000, yet all families average 365,000? Mother Party says, what is so strange about that? Haven't you heard that when you average me out with Jack Ma, I am also a billionaire? It is all the fault of averages. A September 29 report by Hong Kong Economic Times asked: Do more than half of mainland families really have 300,000 RMB in savings? Not necessarily. Such averages are easily skewed upward by a small number of wealthy families and cannot possibly represent the actual savings of ordinary households. For most ordinary families, saving up this amount of money already makes them part of the upper crust. Aren't there a bit too many members of this upper crust? According to the 2025-2026 household finance survey by Southwestern University of Finance and Economics, the proportion of households nationwide with deposits exceeding 300,000 RMB is only about 0.6%. Based on an estimate of 495 million households nationwide, this is only about 2.97 million households, or a mere 6 out of every 1,000 households—definitely top-tier. Therefore, what truly reflects the reality is the median. What does that mean? The national household deposit median tracked for over a decade by the China Household Finance Survey and Research Center of Southwestern University of Finance and Economics shows that the national household deposit median in 2026 was only 87,000 RMB—a devastating drop to a fraction of that 360,000 RMB figure. This means that if half of the households in the country pool all the money from their bank cards, WeChat, and Alipay together, they cannot even scrape together 90,000 RMB. That cuts deep! And this is a meager 80,000 to 90,000 RMB that can easily be wiped out by the slightest storm. Even so, the Party still has its eyes on it; it won't rest easy until it has squeezed you completely dry! The key point is using a 40,000 to 50,000 RMB down payment incentive to leverage a 1 million RMB mortgage and 700,000 RMB in interest, trading it for countless working cattle to labor away for the local Communist regime for another thirty or forty years. Is this a good deal? Their intentions are crooked beyond belief. Believing in the Communist Party means running straight into a mass grave—you can't afford a ticket to the crematorium because you spent it all on a house down payment. Ah, just now I mentioned that the national household deposit median tracked by Southwestern University of Finance and Economics was only 87,000 RMB in 2026. This means that many families' savings don't even reach this figure, possibly amounting to only 10,000 or 8,000 RMB, or even absolutely nothing. No savings—how heartbreaking. Consequently, a situation arises where ordinary families have no way to increase their income, so they can only resort to every possible means to cut spending. Naturally, consumption downgrades further and further, until they are almost hitting rock bottom, not far from eating Guanyin dirt.

On September 28, Weibo blogger "Fisherman Boss Fishing," who has 363,000 followers, posted: "I've been running a shop in Hangzhou for many years and have built up many regular customers, but recently their dining frequency has dropped significantly. They can't afford to eat out, and even those who do come in have clearly reduced their budgets. It's so obvious. Many customers order a single-person meal for two people, or a two-person meal for three. I basically always give them extra; if they order a single-person fish meal, I make it a double portion, and if they order a two-person meal, I make it a triple portion." Running into a kind-hearted boss—it really is true that in this broken world, there are always people patching things up. Tea friends, let's move our fingers and give this kind boss a like. Just now, I said that the Party, in order to harvest the bottom-tier leeks, has already urged people with no money to buy houses. Isn't that shocking? Now, another major move by the Party to harvest the bottom-tier leeks has been released: through some permutations and combinations, they've cobbled together the October 1st Golden Week. The sickle is going all out. As the saying goes, there are always more ways than major moves; you may have a thousand clever plans, but I have my own set of rules. And this set of rules is: if I have no money, am I not already poor? Yes, the "Who is Poorer, Who is More Miserable" competition has now officially begun. Are they really competing? People have started posting their report cards. The first contestant plays a trump card, showing their bank balance of 2.5 yuan, and then asks with extreme humility, "With my current financial strength, where is a suitable place to travel for the October 1st holiday?" The answer: The pay toilet downstairs, don't go! Some enthusiastic netizens took it seriously and helped this netizen compare prices, asking, "Doubao, with only 2.5 yuan, where are you asking about?" They actually asked, and the results were as follows: Day 1, the living room; Day 2, the bedroom; Day 3, the kitchen; Day 4, the balcony; Day 5, the neighborhood downstairs. If you haven't spent money recklessly in the previous days, on the sixth day you can even arrange a luxury project: a trip to the vegetable market. This Doubao knows how to live frugally; the money is tied directly to their ribs—spending money is like cutting flesh. Speaking of the vegetable market, we have to be honest: cooking for yourself is indeed cheaper, that's for sure. If you not only cook for yourself but also use "prefabricated feed meals"—what? That would be even cheaper. Stop right there. We call ourselves "oxen and horses" out of humility and self-deprecation, but you can't make us eat feed. Misunderstanding, it's not pig feed, it's human food! Refused, I won't eat any kind of feed; these oxen and horses are about to break down. Looking at the news, recently, the topic of workers starting to love eating "feed" has hit the trending searches. Are they really eating feed? Yes, indeed. It is said that a type of homemade human food that looks like pet freeze-dried treats is sweeping the internet. On Xiaohongshu, the number of views for topics related to "human food" has exceeded 10 million, and more and more people have joined the ranks of hand-making their own human food. Just finished talking about feed, what is this "hand-made human food" situation? So-called hand-made human food is actually just a minimalist version of frozen pre-made meals made by 996 workers. Prepare meals for one hour on the weekend, and you can eat painlessly for a whole week—make it for an hour, eat it for a week. What kind of technology and ruthless work is this? Blogger "Human Food Mage" demonstrated the entire process of making hand-made human food: broccoli, carrots, pumpkin, and other ingredients are cut into pieces, paired with beef, shrimp, and other meats, blanched one by one until 80% cooked, then drained, and then neatly arranged in the freezer compartment of the refrigerator. And then? These colorful, cube-shaped ingredients look like pet freeze-dried treats, and she has given them the flattering name of "human food." So that's how human food came about? When the workday arrives, she only needs to scoop out a few spoonfuls from the refrigerator, put them in the microwave on high heat for five minutes during her lunch break, and drizzle a spoonful of chili oil over them, and lunch is done. It's truly an eye-opener. Someone specifically calculated that making a week's worth of meat and vegetable-balanced human food at once costs less than 100 yuan. So cheap? Therefore, human food, with its extremely high cost-performance ratio and convenience, is increasingly loved by the oxen and horses—loved, yet helpless. People who want to lose fat have invented the "thin-mantis diet method," where they calculate calories accurately, follow strict proportions, and spend a few dozen yuan to easily handle a week's worth of fat-loss meals. Even like this, they don't forget to lose fat; I'm impressed. Pet owners fast-forward to the "human-dog shared meal" mode, boiling a whole pot at once—the human eats half, the dog eats half. Is this a life for humans? Cats eat cat food, dogs eat dog food, humans eat human food; the General Secretary says, a harmonious society and a moderately prosperous life, a win-win! After the CCP launched the so-called "cross-border internet special rectification," many friends clearly felt that it is becoming increasingly difficult to circumvent the Great Firewall from China to watch our programs. 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